Monday, October 18, 2010

10 things the modern bogan loves

Bogus bogan or the real deal? ... Clare Webeloff aka the Chk, Chk, Boom girl. Bogus bogan or the real deal? ... Clare Webeloff aka the Chk, Chk, Boom girl.
What do reality TV shows, moronic Facebook groups, faux lesbians and personalised numberplates have in common?

They're all things the modern bogan likes, according to a new book.

Things Bogans Like, which is based on the popular website of the same name, is written by self confessed snobs E Chas McSween, Enron Hubbard, Flash Johnson, Hunter McKenzie-Smyth, Intravenus DeMilo and Michael Jayfox.

According to the book the term "bogan" used to refer to people with mullets, singlets, utes and not a lot of money.

However, the term has evolved over time, the writers contend.

The modern bogan often has money, a racist streak, homophobia and an addiction to TV shows like Today Tonight and A Current Affair.

Here are 10 things the modern bogan loves:

1. Misspelling their kids' names - rather than giving their child an unusual name they misspell a common one. For example; Riley becomes Reilly, Rhylee, Rhylie, Rhylee, Ryley or Rylie.

2. Perspective-based photos at famous landmarks - think "holding up" the Eiffel tower.

3. SMS speak - LOL, OMG, WTF, BRB, SUM1, SXE.

4. Cross dressing - despite being homophobic the modern bogan loves cross dressing, so long as he doesn't actually end up looking anything like a woman. To ensure this the bogan will have plenty of hair sticking out of his fishnets and plenty of manly stubble.

5. Joining moronic facebook groups - some examples include: I hate stupid people, I flip my pillow over to get the cold side and I use my cell phone to see in the dark.

6. Personalised number plates - 2HOT4U, WTABUZ, COPB8.

7. Party buses - bogans hate public transport and will use any opportunity to get in their fuel guzzling car. But bogans who can't afford a stretch Hummer love the party bus.

8. Tribal tattoos - mark the bogan as a "warrior" and allow them to think they are culturally and artistically aware.

9. Commercial radio stations - bogans not only love hearing their favourite music (Bon Jovi, Nickelback etc) over and over again, they also like hearing it remixed and interspersed with comedians, celebrities and prank phone calls.

10. New Zealand - when bogans get sick of making six finger jokes about Tasmanians there's nothing they like more than making sheep and Hobbit jokes about New Zealanders.

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